North Korea: Kim Jong-un, What is he Really Thinking?

Every few days, the North Korean news agency releases pictures of Kim Jong-un looking at everyday things, like shoes or a wall. Uniformed men with notepads are always on hand to record his thoughts. We wondered what those thoughts might be...

"You have got to be kidding me. I saw chalk dust."

"...And now I mix in the other track..."

"So, what are those two girls going to do with that cup...?"

"So, I guess he really couldn't swim."

"I guess he really is terrified of heights."

"Hmmm... I wonder how they twist these things? And why am I wearing my coat like an old lady? And who are these people who keep writing down my every thought?"

"Four point five per cent? Have you got anything stronger?"

"I'm sorry gentlemen. Uniforms get me aroused sometimes."

"Try this on every maid in my kingdom, and if the shoe fits, bring her in. For questioning..."

"It does! It looks like poo. It's not just me, is it?"

"Why, this car is automatic. It's systematic. It's hyyyydromatic..."

"Let them eat... that green stuff."

"Ok, guys, I think I'm stuck here. Help. Help! Guys...?"

"What do you mean, my card hasn't been accepted? Don't you know who I am?"